Today I am feeling particularly bold, if revealing one’s name and pic is considered an extremely daring feat 😉
I am a branded introvert from time immemorial. Whenever my family introduced me to others, they had a tailpiece that went something like this : ‘she doesn’t speak much / she is a bit quiet/shy/reserved ‘; you get the drift. Not at all blaming my family, but this type casting was so much of a norm for me that I grew up living up to that expectation. It was something that defined me, a definition I strived to keep intact. I chose friends who were equally reserved; I was praised for the ‘nice’ group I hang out with. I avoided events where I would be expected to speak up; my parents were relieved that I wouldn’t go to any unfamiliar settings. But was I really an introvert?
I think all of us live, at the very least, triple lives – first where we put our best, polite, emotionally balanced self out to the public (public self), second where we be ourselves with our weaknesses, emotional outbursts (real self) and third where we play around with our fantasies (fantasy self). My public self is the real introvert. I would be evaluated as a polite, rule abiding, emotionally well balanced person if you have me as your acquaintance. I don’t generally argue with others’ view points even if I don’t agree with the same. My real self, which comes out when I am with people whom I take for granted, is not exactly introvert. I express my real opinions, stand for the values I believe and convince my perspective. My fantasy self is an outright extrovert. May be everyone’s is. I play out the public self’s real life dilemmas in my fantasy world and there I can solve everything – I can talk, debate, argue, convince, whatever it takes for the problem to be solved. Sometimes I project an imaginary situation, that would most probably be faced by my public self in recent future, in my fantasy world and watch out how my fantasy self would play its cards. But, how much ever I do this role play with my fantasy self I am never able to bring out the exact responses through my public self. Over the years through deliberate thought processes, actions and out of sheer necessity, my public self has changed a lot. But I doubt it would ever be my second nature, it might always require that conscious effort. So here it is, today I am taking one more step to make my public self a bit more bold by giving my blog an identity.